It’s an irony that many of us are often surrounded by crowds, yet are very lonely inside. Peggy Noonan says “The biggest problem in America, the biggest problem in any modern, industrialized society, is loneliness”. Loneliness is a very common problem, almost everyone feels lonely one time or the other. It is important to distinguish loneliness from being alone. You can be in the midst of a crowded party filled with people and still feel lonely, whereas on the other hand you can be all by yourself, totally alone and yet not necessarily feel lonely. Loneliness has nothing to do with the people around you; it has a lot to do with how you perceive yourself and where you derive your significance from.
Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia defines loneliness as “an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than just the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected, and/or alienated from other people, so that it feels difficult or even impossible to have any form of meaningful human contact”. Loneliness is a disconnection within one’s self that makes it difficult for people to connect well with others. Though loneliness is considered as one of the greatest curse of humanity, it is designed to alert us that some of the deepest desires are not being met. Loneliness works as an alarm, it reminds us that something that is very important in life is missing and forces us to re-evaluate the way we live our lives.
“The biggest problem in America, the biggest problem in any modern, industrialized society, is loneliness”- Peggy Noonan
Thomas Wolfe says “The whole conviction of my life now rests upon the belief that loneliness, far from being a rare and curious phenomenon, peculiar to myself and to a few other solitary men, is the central and inevitable fact of human existence.” Loneliness as I understand begins as a feeling in everybody, but pretty soon if we continue to ignore the deeper feelings and spiritual needs it will become a condition of life. I tend to think that it is an emotion often caused by our anxiety and fear that we do not matter at all to anyone. If this feeling of emptiness is not addressed properly it can lead to depression where you really believe that your existence is totally useless and does not matter to anybody.
Loneliness is a disconnection within one’s self that makes it difficult for people to connect well with others.
One of the important reasons why we have so many people who are lonely in our generation is because we try to look for intimacy and deeper connections in the wrong places. Most of our friendships and acquaintances are so superficial that they do not last long. In fact many of our relationships are based on some temporary commonalities that will only last for some time. Our connection with people at work, school, church or neighborhood, all have a limitation, they can easily be disconnected unless we grow deeper in relationship with individuals. As human beings we all long and crave for a deeper relationship with someone who will continue to love us no matter what.
Joseph from the Old Testament was a young man who was rejected by many. He was rejected by his own brothers, family and by Potiphar. He finally thought that the butler will help him out, but the butler forgot (Interesting how some people totally forget you after their needs are met). Joseph had many lonely moments in his life, but I think one of the most painful moments was when his dreams of being released were shattered because of the butler’s forgetfulness. All these experiences of rejection forced Joseph to lean on the only one whom he could trust at all times, his God. Joseph felt lonely many times, but the only thing that kept Joseph from becoming depressed is his strong relationship with God. Nothing that happened outside shook Joseph because his boat was anchored to the solid rock; he was connected to someone whose love is unconditional and eternal.
Life is a long journey where we share our path with many people, some come and go without making any difference in our lives, but there are some who have great influence on our lives, however since no human being is eternal or will live forever and love forever, it’s important to make sure your boat is anchored to the solid rock, so that the next time you feel lonely you know where to go to understand your true significance. David says “ye though I walk through the valley of shadow of death, I fear no evil (here’s the key) for thou art with me”. Is your boat anchored to the solid rock? Do not let your lonely moments define your real worth or significance instead let them bring you closer to God who considers you as the apple of his eye.
It’s important to make sure your boat is anchored to the solid rock, so that the next time you feel lonely you know where to go to understand your true significance.
– – Author: Rev. Francis Burgula – –
