“Among Life’s precious jewels, genuine and rare… the one that we call friendship, has worth beyond compare.” said an unknown author. It’s almost six years since I first landed in the United States. When I first came to this country I had just a couple of friends whom I knew from India. It was painful for me to leave all the old friends in India and specially to leave my family. But since I was convinced that this was a God given opportunity for me to learn and grow, I came here with just a couple of friends and acquaintances and full of uncertainties. I have never been to another country before; in fact I never flew in an airplane before I got into my first flight to Los Angeles. I was going to a strange land, a land with people of different color and culture. As most international students I had my own share of culture shock for a few days after which I slowly started making new friends here in the USA.
In the words of Samuel Johnson “If a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life, he will soon find himself left alone”. However in my case it was not the fear of becoming a loner that motivated me to look out for friends, it was the excitement of sharing my life with others that constantly pushed me to make more friends. It was just hard to think of life without friends. Well, life is not impossible without friends, but it’s pretty difficult to endure the hardships of life without someone to share with. As the old proverb says “Friendship doubles your joys, and divides your sorrows”, I was just looking out for friends with whom I could share my joys and sorrows.
“If a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life, he will soon find himself left alone”- Samuel Johnson
C. S. Lewis says “Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… It has no survival value; rather is one of those things that give value to survival.” I was not looking for friends because my survival was dependent on them, but I was looking for friends because I knew it made my life more meaningful. I consider myself blessed and more fortunate than many others because for a long period of my life I did not have to deal with serious pain or sorrow in my own life. As a minister and a Christian leader I did deal with a lot of pain and sorrow in life, but mostly it was sharing and dealing with others’ pain. Even though I tried my best to understand what my friends were going through, I should admit that very often my understanding of pain was very shallow, theoretical and impersonal. In God’s own sovereign plan and time he took me through a series of experiences where I had to personally deal with a lot of emotional and physical pain that helped me understand the value and importance of true friendship and genuine friends.
“We are all travelers in the wilderness of the world, and the best that we can find in our travels is an honest friend.” – Robert Louis Stevenson
As a person who often lent my hand to others who were in pain, I often neglected my own need for friends who could lend me a hand when I was down. Since I am usually a very friendly person I presumed that I have many friends who can take care of me if I needed. Well, I had to go through this period of testing to discover and recognize the joy and blessing of genuine friendship. I am not a big fan of Oprah Winfrey but I like this quote by her “Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” In my case not only the Limo broke down, but I guess even the bus broke down and I found friends who walked with me just because they cared, they went out of their ways to journey with me. The joy of having company when we walk through the dark valleys is inexplicable. In fact tough times not only revealed true friends but also helped me discover some new friends.
Robert Louis Stevenson says “We are all travelers in the wilderness of the world, and the best that we can find in our travels is an honest friend.” It’s one thing to join a person because you are also going the same way, but it takes a genuine friend to go out of his/her way to give you company. The joy and influence of such friendship is priceless. Henri Nouwen says “When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.”
When I came to this country I was a stranger, but during these six years the Lord has blessed me with so many friends from different parts of the world that I just wonder what my life would be without these individuals or families in my life. As a family we are very thankful to the Lord for the deep friendships we share with many of you. But for God’s grace and your constant support and love I would not have completed my studies here at Talbot. Ph D sounds like a big achievement, but honestly what satisfies us more than the degree is the knowledge that we are loved and surrounded by some of the greatest friends anybody can have. Remember Sydney Smith’s words “Life is to be fortified by many friendships. To love and to be loved is the greatest happiness of existence.” Thank you for sharing this journey with me.
“Life is to be fortified by many friendships. To love and to be loved is the greatest happiness of existence.” – Sydney Smith
– – Author: Rev. Francis Burgula – –
