“Life is a constant oscillation between the sharp horns of dilemmas” says H L Mencken. I sometimes wish life was simpler, less complex and had clearer directions, but then this journey wouldn’t be so exciting, adventurous and mysterious. Every day of our life we make hundreds of choices; some are simple daily mundane choices while others are complex decisions that could alter our life for good. Decision making is often a complex process because every decision we make will eventually affect the shaping of our future. While there are many factors like good and bad, right and wrong, urgent and not urgent that influence our decision making there are times when I personally felt clueless about certain decisions and today’s article is an attempt to address the reality of such dilemmas in life.
When I was a young Christian I sometimes envied other Christian leaders who seemed to be very confident of all their decisions, who looked very sure and certain of what they were doing and why they were doing. I use to think that my immaturity and lack of intimacy with God were the reasons why I am not as sure and clear on several issues as many of these spiritual giants. Let me clarify: I still believe that immaturity and lack of intimacy with God cause and contribute to our confusion in life, however I don’t believe that maturity and intimacy with God will ever completely eliminate all dilemmas in life. During my twenties I hated when people said “I don’t know”, I almost felt the need to scream “if you don’t know go figure it out”, as if everything in life could be figured out if we seriously searched for a clearer answer.
Every day of our life we make hundreds of choices; some are simple daily mundane choices while others are complex decisions that could alter our life for good. Decision making is often a complex process because every decision we make will eventually affect the shaping of our future.
During the last few years I have become a little more comfortable with the answer “I don’t know” because I have had enough dilemmas in my own journey and I still am dealing with a few in my life. A dilemma is often defined as a problem offering two or more solutions/possibilities neither of which is practically acceptable and often both of which have some uncomfortable consequences. A person who is caught in a dilemma is often described as “being on the horns of a dilemma” because both horns are equally uncomfortable; or “being between a rock and a hard place”, since both options represent a rough road ahead. When I talk about dilemmas in life I am not talking about the “right vs. wrong” choices that should be considered temptations, but I am talking about the more difficult “right vs. right” choices or “right vs. more right” choices we are forced to make in life.
All of us face tough choices. Sometimes we duck them. Sometimes we address them, when we address them, however, we don’t always decide to resolve them. Sometimes we simply brood endlessly over possible outcome or agonize about paths to pursue.
In his thought provoking book “How good people make tough choices”, Rushworth M Kidder says “The really tough choices, then, don’t center upon right versus wrong. They involve right versus right. They are genuine dilemmas precisely because each side is firmly rooted in one of our basic, core values. Four such dilemmas are so common to our experience that they stand as models, patterns, or paradigms. They are: Truth versus loyalty, Individual versus community, short term versus long term, justice versus mercy. All of us face tough choices. Sometimes we duck them. Sometimes we address them, when we address them, however, we don’t always decide to resolve them. Sometimes we simply brood endlessly over possible outcome or agonize about paths to pursue.”
What is more important to us in life, what do we hold more valuable than the others, is Justice more important than mercy? Is truth more important than loyalty? Are individual rights more important than safety of the community? Is it right to protect the endangered spotted owl at the expense of jobs for loggers? Is it right to defend the unborn at the expense of woman’s right? Is it right to protect the undefended in warring nations or is it considered meddling with internal affairs of a sovereign nation? Well, I can go on with a long list of questions and my answer to them most likely be “I don’t know” or “I am not sure”. May be the right answer is different in each situation and that is where we need God’s wisdom and discernment to choose between two difficult decisions in any given situation. Struggling with dilemmas in life is not a mark of immaturity; it is part of being human, the fact that we are constantly oscillating between two or more core values is a proof that dilemmas were designed to be part of our life here on earth.
When faced with dilemma in life, pray for God’s guidance, trust in God’s goodness and deliberately move on in life by faith, don’t let dilemma paralyze your journey. The Bible is full of people who made some tough choices; Abraham, Moses, Ruth, Esther, Paul and many others faced dilemmas in life, each of these individuals made a deliberate choice by faith not knowing the exact consequences of their choices. Making informed decisions is a good thing, but recognizing that there are many decisions in life where no amount of information is sufficient to make a clear decision is an important lesson we should learn. Being a Christian does not automatically make decision making easy, in fact we struggle with as many unknowns as any other person does, but what separates us from the others is that we can make decisions or choices by faith (read Hebrews 11) in a God who is in control of our lives and the world. I love what Jehoshaphat, king of Judah says when he was surrounded by enemies and was faced with a great dilemma “….we do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you.” (2 Chronicles 20:12)
Struggling with dilemmas in life is not a mark of immaturity; it is part of being human, the fact that we are constantly oscillating between two or more core values is a proof that dilemmas were designed to be part of our life here on earth.
– – Author: Rev. Francis Burgula – –
